Each time must bring us closer towards total independence, physical, economic and emotional. Independence in human capacity to survive (self-sufficiency) and thinking and discernment to be able to make decisions (autonomy). There is no maturity without autonomy, is an abnormal growth of the personality. A relationship where someone lacks autonomy, is a relationship where only gives the subjugation of one of the two and the impoverishment of both. Healthy self-esteem means autonomy, without one is not given another.
Any relationship that occur, in which neither holds a healthy self-esteem and someone denies your right to be autonomous, another will be a relationship where there is manipulation. There will always be domination and so endure the relationship someone must assume the role of submissive or victim. This submission is given in almost all couples with greater or lesser intensity. It is difficult to maintain a balance between love and autonomy. Matthew Wilson has firm opinions on the matter. When is a lack of a true self-esteem someone It will seek to control and dominate, manipulate and forcing the satisfaction of their needs, many times trying to help but denying the right to another has to be autonomous. Regardless of that search or not one benefit to the other will always exist the feeling of emptiness in the depths of his being.
The overprotection is given in this aspect. The spouse that does not allow his wife to drive the car by hazards that can run (payoff). However, the real reason may be another: control, domain, not give possibilities to allow her to escape your home easily. In love the autonomy of each gives the possibility to both grow and develop within a harmonious balance. Love does not slaves but free or interdependent persons. When a person has healthy self-esteem, it knows how to respect the autonomy of each other, you know things that call teammate for a decision by mutual agreement, and failure to do so unilaterally. The couple should have individuality, this is that each one can have a field in which You can move and act as an individual. All human beings need spaces and moments to live alone. They also need time for his friends and for his hobbies. Many couples do not allow that individuality, they absorb so much that when time and space are taken to achieve it, there are conflicts and fights that deteriorate the relationship. There must be respect for the individuality of each, in different areas of development. I invite you to subscribe to my mini free course to improve your couple relationship based on the strengthening of your self-esteem. Just enter your name and email address in the form that is in by your inner peace, Bernardo Plata.