January 27, 2015
Love is first of all a feeling, so to be able to love you have to be able to experience emotions. Many people desire to feel loved ones but kept outside all emotional expression. They think that keeping all the emotions controlled, be carried away by feelings is sign of weakness or lack of character. They cannot tolerate the emotional intensity, strong feelings put them wrong. They struggle to keep under control your own feelings and those of your partner.
You can in theory accept that it is wonderful, healthy, natural, have feelings, but they feel uncomfortable when they have an emotion with real intensity. This type of behavior is very common within our macho culture. Virility is a synonym for hardness and therefore, the feeling is despised as women and children. Who manifest a sense be considered weak and foolish, men never cry. It is necessary to learn to control our emotions.
In order to live in an acceptably ordered and civilized world, we can not give free rein to everything we feel, we must have an emotional education. But if all emotional expression is repressed, we could easily be psychopaths. You need this expression to our psychological well-being and to maintain satisfactory relationships. There are feelings that belong to men and others women inside machismo. There are emotions that are more feminine and look better on women; compassion, tenderness, love romantic and natural humility. Other emotions belong to the male field; ambition, pride, arrogance, anger. Anger is one of the few legitimate male emotions. Man can download his anger in others, women must repress it and master it. It is perhaps for this reason that most people serving sentences for violent crimes, are men, while the majority of patients of psychotherapy and internally in mental health clinics, are women. When someone hurts your feelings, instead of crying man is furious, and explodes in anger women breaks down in tears and pain.